Showing posts with label literature. Show all posts
Showing posts with label literature. Show all posts

Wednesday, 3 September 2014

Sunday, 31 August 2014

Mr. Morrison -- your trolley is in my aisle.

Dear Mr. Morrison of +Morrisons
Off the bat, do you mind if I call you William or, better yet, Bill? I appreciate this is probably rude of me considering that you managed to turn a simple egg and butter stall back in 1899 (Morrison history) into what is now a major (okay, you are number 4 of 4) chain of supermarkets; but as I occasionally haunt the aisles of your business,  I feel we do have a sense of familiarity. Either way, Bill, congrats on getting the business where it is today: I've been in the film business for thirty years and I'm still fighting red over black when it comes to bank statements and you don't even want to know what Hell it is trying to sell a novel out there.
Up front, Bill, I'm a +Waitrose man -- now that's not a class or money decision. On the contrary. I just like being able to amble down an aisle with my FREE trolley and peruse a variety (note variety here Bill) of foodstuffs. I like the fact that I can PAUSE in an aisle, Bill -- pause and reflect and realise that there are five, if not six, brands of rice in this world: realise that Morrison's did not invent the only pasta sauce and, would you believe Bill, that not all soon to be pork roasts are wrapped in blood soaked clingfilm? It is a wondrous thing, Bill, to be able to idly choose on what to spend your sweat stained pound on, rather than be given the choice of nought but your name brand. I'm okay when it comes to toilet paper and the like, Bill, but come on, Pasta Sauce,headache tablets,soap,baked beans etc etc........?? Give a man a choice and he will come back for more.
Now here is the bone of contention, Bill -- why in the name of Hell and its followers, do you choose to stock your shelves every minute of the day? Okay -- maybe I'm exaggerating, so let me rephrase, Bill -- why is it that every time I habituate your store, I'm not only fighting off obscene screaming mothers, screaming children, obese fathers and cellular phone touting teens, but a multitude of your staff and their unweilding effing trolleys?
I kid you not, Bill -- take a wander when you can. I want a pork pie. There's your trolley, your guy, right there, builder's crack and all, stocking the exact shelf. I make a detour for the tomatoes (what's with this recent dry ice effect going on with the veggies, Bill? I don't quite get it. I gave it a few moments of my attention and was expecting a rock concert but then I got rudely interrupted by a brat steering your one pound trolley) and when I arrive, guess what? Bang! Your trolley and two acne laced teens lazily tossing bags of onions and discussing their next smoke break. Right there, barricading the damn tomatoes, Bill!
So here's the thing -- I'm not saying Waitrose and the like don't have to re-stock their shelves during the day. But they seem to do it...well... in a clandestine manner. They apologise for being there. They ask if they can help. Your mob? Forget it, Bill -- my little one pound trolley is but a mere ant versus your tank; versus your over-stacked, rusty heap of piped metal on shaky wheels.
Get out of my aisle, Bill -- I'm there to spend money on groceries, not to attend a demolition derby.
P.S. Have you ever thought about selling books only published by self-publishers? I'm, of course, suggesting this for selfish reasons, but I do have an ulterior motive: if you did, at least you could offer a damn choice, Bill.
Think about it.

TO READ MORE OF MARK ROPER'S RAMBLINGS, PLEASE VISIT here.

Better yet, download a novella of his scribblings at a ridiculous low price!!!





Wednesday, 6 August 2014

Is God a Mechanic #2

...and then there was light! The conclusion of the short story from the novella, Two Feet, where Meneer Gerber and all see eye-to-eye. Sort of.

FEEL FREE TO COMMENT -- or better yet, read more of Mark's scribblings in his novella, TWO FEET available as a link on this site to +Amazon.com. Either as a Kindle download or in paperback.
Available at Amazon.com
****
A question I never asked:
“Daddy, how do I switch this on?”

*****
A question I never asked:
“Daddy, how do I switch this off?”

*****
If God’s vehicle was a re-vamped, super-charged, gun metal grey, 1966 F-100 Chevy, He drove it into our lives early one morning.
If God’s vehicle was a re-vamped, super-charged, gun metal grey, 1966 F-100 Chevy that was meant to raise sufficient dust to asphyxiate both bird and insect, it was doing a damn good job of that, too.
We seldom had visitors. If a car was seen or heard navigating the pot-hole ravaged road toward the house, it would draw the brood out onto the flaking, thirsty lawn. From here we would view its approach. Mabuza stood poised nearby with his garden fork. The cloud of advancing dust would be watched with some trepidation.
Mostly, the occupants of the cars were men wearing jackets and ties and carrying briefcases and brown, official type folders. They were in search of you, Father, as were we. They were men from distant cities, perspiring uncomfortably, their flesh rebelling at the sun, hunting down debt like we sometimes hunted the King’s buck.
“Vultures,” is what my older brother described them as.
“Rooineks,” is what Pisskop would have called them.
The moment these men got stiffly out of the car, my younger brother would yelp like a puppy and hurry away, probably to the dam which was his place of solitude. My elder brothers would stand mutely, ready to do battle, keeping our dogs at bay.
I stood alongside my mother, always slightly to the rear. I would find solitude in the ant-lion (Myrmeleontidea) holes in the dust, or watch Mabuza from the corner of my eye. He stood ramrod, like a warrior on a cliff awaiting an Induna’s call to battle.
My mother always said “shit” under her breath as she walked forward. Her conversations with these men would be animated, but brief. They would try, with a mix of honey and tar, to cajole the documents into her hands, but she heeded Mister Kelly’s advice, and kept her hands behind her back. Small hands, dirt engrained hands that had once boasted of diamond rings and the scent of expensive oils and nail polish.
“If you take the papers, they take everything. Do you understand, Missus? Never take the bloody papers!”
These men, often through sunglasses, would glance askew at us children as they talked with our mother. I wonder now how they perceived us; we were white children, barefoot, not in school, and our hair was long, way too long for those years. Perhaps our physical appearance was suffice for them to realise that what my mother told them, was the truth. Was there sympathy behind those sunglasses? I seriously doubt it.
There was nothing left to surrender, repossess or sell. Speak to Mister Kelly. Here is his telephone number. No. No forwarding address. Their father’s present whereabouts remains unknown.
Like disgruntled bees leaving a dying blossom, these men would return to their car, reverse, and drive away, soon obliterated in a cloud of dust that had never quite settled.
God’s vehicle pulled to a stop with the sound of an impulsive lion, sending a tremor under our waiting feet. Muffled, chrome exhausts coughed a victorious expletive as they died, sending startled pigeons flapping from the trees.
Barking dogs, momentarily, go mute.
For a change, my younger brother did not move. Instead, he stopped frowning, a gesture that had, recently, become as common on his face as a red- tick to the hide of a cow.
In the rear of the F-100, amongst the tool boxes, winches, chains and scaffolding pipe, sat four labourers. They all wore blue overalls and wellington boots. Their smiles were open and broad, eyes alert and expectant to their new environment.
The driver stepped out. He was short but muscular. He wore khaki shorts and a short sleeved shirt. His skin was tanned; a farmer’s tan, his forearms and legs bred a thick mesh of wiry hair. A veldt hat with a sweat stained band was perched on a balding head. His eyes were a light blue, his moustache neatly trimmed, his feet encased in worn but expensive veldskoens and khaki socks. In his breast pocket, he carried a packet of Springbok cigarettes and a box of lion matches.
“Good morning,” he said to all of us. “I’m here to help with the borehole?” Out came the cigarettes: A flash of a match, a puff of smoke. “Mister Kelly asked me.”
“Oh,” said my mother and stepped forward. Her hands were not behind her back. “Oh,” she repeated.
My brothers walked forward; sucked toward the glory of the F-100, whose metallic colour bounced back the sunlight like a granite boulder fends off a rifle bullet, like a blue-fly to a pile of elephant dung.
Mabuza tugged my shirt sleeve. I looked up into his face. I saw the Mabuza grin: big, white teeth and gums as pink as the fruit of a ripe pawpaw. He patted me on my shoulder and danced his skinny thong clad backside toward the F-100,leaving me standing amongst the ant-lion holes, with a butterfly fluttering somewhere in my young, vegetable starved stomach.
*****
Dear Meneer Gerber,
How are you? I am fine.
I am sorry to be writing this letter to you in pencil, but I have no ink or pen.
I am writing this letter to you to tell you that the borehole pump is fixed.
He came to fix the pump driving a very special super truck that shone in the sun like the silver of that box you have for your pipe tobacco. It made the sound of thunder too. Like the sound we hear in the late afternoon when the vultures are high in the sky and the kopje is standing alone against an army of black clouds, Meneer.
He is from the same valley that I can see from our garden. In the valley, pineapples, oranges and avocados grow. There is always water in the valley, Meneer. There are small canals there, and it is always green even when it is so hot the dogs don’t want to walk and the bees are angry. I think the water is called irrigation, Meneer.
He fixed the pump quickly. He had four labourers working with him, and they sang a song as they made the winch system and pulled the broken pump from deep out of the ground. He is not like Mister Ford from Ford Farm who just sits and watches his labourers work and says rude things to them. He worked all the time with the chains and tackle, and it was good to see the mud and the water at the end, Meneer. It was thick mud from deep under. He said it was a good sign because it meant that there was still a lot of water down there.
He is very strong, and from his truck he took out a brand new pump. My mother did not know what to say, so she went to make us all some tea, even for the labourers. She did not have any cake, so he said he will bring some next time. My mother looked shy, and when she laughed she sounded like a little girl.
Now we do not have to carry Mister Kelly’s jerry cans up the hill anymore, Meneer. My mother thinks the radish plants and maybe the carrots will survive, but the cabbages are no good. I am sad for the cabbages.
I am sorry I cannot attend class. The men took the red Mini-Imp, so we only have the bicycle.
 Yours Sincerely
M.
*****
 Dear M
I am happy to hear that the borehole is fixed.
I am also very sorry.

Yours Sincerely
Meneer Gerber
*****
 Dear Meneer Gerber
Thank you for your letter dated....................
I do not understand why you are sorry.
Can I do my History test from home?

Yours Sincerely
M.
*****
Dear M
I am rwitting with the typwriteer at hte in the office.

God moves in a mydsterious way
His wonders to pergform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upoon the strorm.
Deep in unfathoimable mines
Of nevbyer failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs
And works His sov’reign will.

Did He ring the caske? Cake? Did he bring the cake for your mother?
Cphter 4 of the history book. Write an esay. Essay.

God Bless you.

 Meneer  Gerber.

Friday, 9 May 2014

Swaziland: King Mswati Snubs His Own Airport

Swaziland: King Mswati Snubs His Own Airport


...if only his father was alive today!!

Yet another African country falls foul to corruption -- a damn, damn shame. Back in the days we were taking sanctuary in Swaziland to avoid the apartheid mayhem -- now it seems the opposite.
The fact is, he didn't need an aeroplane in the first place.
Grumpy.


allAfrica.com: Swaziland: King Mswati Snubs His Own Airport

Please visit the following site to read how it USED to be in Swaziland or simply give the novel TWO FEET a read -- set in the 1960's it highlights the GOOD of the country.  Thanks.

When it was good...

Wednesday, 7 May 2014

How times have changed.



Most of the stories that I write are set in real places. I managed to +Google Earth an area of Swaziland where I used to live. Over forty years ago.
Well, Executioner rock is still there (famed for solving a few tribal issues back in time!) but the abode seems to have now become a chicken farm, or dare I say what looks like a salt mine!
Still, this little sojourn into the past via satellite rekindled fond memories.
You should try it sometime!
Here is the link to Miles Anderson reading Chapter Two of the novella. Please feel free to comment. Your comments always help.


Two Feet - Chapter Two

Saturday, 19 October 2013

Free Chapter - the deaf can hear.

Here's a free chapter from the novella, THE BONE TRADERS #Amazon in which Joe meets up with the geriatric Hunters and solves a hearing problem. Hope you enjoy and, as always, feel free to comment.



Salvaged wind generators and the crooked, rotating blades of wind pumps greet The Sow as it transports Joe down the street in Erasmusville.
The midday sun is flat and ferocious. The few villagers that remain keep under whatever shade they can find. They stand glued to their spots like toy soldiers, basking in the half-light.
Joe climbs out of The Sow, the weary dust trail settling immediately like a tired mongrel. Joe makes for the crooked gate.
“Danya?”
His voice rings loud in the sullen silence of the village. “Danya...It’s me.”
Charles appears from a corner of the house, his shotgun levelled at Joe’s stomach. “Hiiiiii,” he teases, managing to curl his lips. “It’s me,” he adds, offering an exaggerated, womanly wave.
“So I see,” responds Joe. He hasn’t looked Charles in the eyes. Not yet.
“I’m going to shoot your balls off,” Charles informs him.
Joe takes out his cigarette case. “No you’re not.”
Charles giggles and sniffs. “I am, too.”
“Is Danya here?”
“You’ll never know.”
Joe now looks at Charles as he pulls a match from his coat pocket.
“Don’t look at me. Okay? I’m going to shoot your balls off...I SAID DON’T LOOK AT ME!”
“I’m not looking. Not really. Not yet.”
Then Joe lights the match, passing his hand over it, as he always does. The match flares. He lights his cigarette.
Charles has witnessed this. He is silent. “Holy crap,” he finally whispers.
“Is Danya in the house?”
Charles wipes his nose, and then nods, a little too eagerly.
Joe cautiously opens the door.
Sampson stands in the hallway, his shotgun aimed at Joe. The big man grins, his hearing aid prominent.
“You killed Dog,” Joe tells Sampson.
“I did what?”
Charles has moved behind Joe where he can see Sampson in the hallway.
“Shoot him. Go on. Shoot him,” Charles tells Sampson.
Sampson cocks his head. “What you say?”
“I said shoot him,” Charles yells.
Joe hasn’t shifted his position in the doorway. He exudes calmness. “You killed dog. You did. I know. Why?”
Joe is staring at Sampson now and already Sampson is wavering; his facial expression taking on the pallor of a man sick at sea.
“Just who or what the shit is Dog?” Charles asks.
Joe stares at Sampson, boring into him. “Dog was the bird, my bird.”
“What you gonna do, Sampson? Huh? Huh?” Charles asks Sampson, loudly.
“I don’t know...what you going to do? He’s looking at me again, Charles.”
Joe hasn't flinched.
“Hef - Hef he said to kill the bird. To make it go quiet,” Sampson finally admits, incapable of breathing regularly now.
“People like you started the senseless rot and the violence. People like you who should have cared.”
“I can’t hear you?”
Charles is dancing on his feet with nervousness. He knows it has all gone horribly wrong, that both he and Sampson are sinking in the quicksand Joe has managed to plant.
“I asked you where is Danya?”
“He lit a match! Oh shit...with his hand!” Charles sniffs from behind Joe, his eyes darting left and right.
“Where is she?” Joe again asks, this time louder, but still in control.
“Sky took her.”
“Took her where?”
“He said we were to meet at the canyon at sunrise...afterwards.”
“Afterwards...?”
Sampson fiddles with his hearing-aid: anything to avoid Joe’s presence. “After...after us...Charles, not me...was going to make it so’s you...you know...”
“No I don’t know...”
“Don’t tell him anything Sampson,” Charles yells from the background, his boots stirring the dust.
Sampson eyes the floor. “So’s you can’t breed no more,”  e tells Joe.
Joe steps closer to Sampson very quickly. “You killed my friend,” he says on the move, and then he slaps Sampson’s ear, the one without the hearing-aid. He slaps it with a full hand, palm in, and the blow rings out like a pistol shot.
And as Sampson yelps like a struck puppy, Joe is already striding off, past Charles and toward The Sow. Charles dodges out of Joe’s path, his feet numb with nervousness, and the shotgun as useless as the sudden air in his bowels.
Sampson, clasping his head, staggers out of the house.
“Sky is going to kill us...Sky is going to take our balls,” Charles whispers as he watches The Sow transport Joe away, not even wanting to question or deliberate the silence of the auto mobile
“Screw, Sky...”says Sampson.
Charles looks at his friend. “What did you say?”
“I said screw Sky, why?”
Before The Event, the breaking of dawn was a slow unveiling, like a chameleon changing colour, a chrysalis to butterfly – a slow realisation that day was impending.
This is the pace, the crawl, that realisation spreads across Sampson’s face. He pulls his hearing-aid away from his ear. He looks at it. He looks at Charles.

“Charles,” Sampson says quietly. “I can hear. He’s made it so I can hear.”

Wednesday, 25 September 2013

When you have no future.

...an extract from "The Bone Traders" -- After the Event. When you have no future, all you have left is the past...adapted from the original screenplay. 

Welcome to the town that your God, Law, Time, Nature and society has forgotten. A line of bungalows now stand brick deep in ever increasing mounds of shifting sand, their structures built from salvaged remains of brick, wood, plastic and metal. A shanty town that whispers of a past you may remember, but shouts of a sad present.
An army of salvaged wind-pumps turn angrily in the wind, their battle now to suck water from an unyielding soil. Three crippled wind generators turn in the stale air, probably creating enough power to light a bulb or two.
A hint of ill repaired solar panels can be seen perched on the crudely constructed roof tops.
A small Church offers its imperfect steeple to a cloudless sky. There is one shop, a general dealer. There are no cars, no gas pumps nor signs of children. The sight of a blossoming flower is rare. There is a monotonous twirling of dust and the ricocheting of bright sunlight off metal.
At the far end of the only street, outside a house, a group of people have gathered. There is also a cart and a donkey.
Inside the house, in a narrow bedroom, Reverend Dickinson, spectacled, stands looking out the window. He’s holding a Bible. Reverend Dickinson is stooped under God’s forgetfulness.  It is a heavy burden for him and the slope of his narrow shoulders demonstrates that.
Suddenly there is a woman’s scream from within the room and it scares the crap out of Reverend Dickinson. He spins on his heels.
“Well?” Reverend Dickinson asks the midwife that is bent over the prone body of the woman who is about to give birth.
The woman giving birth again screams. She is over the age of seventy and her wrinkled, sunburnt flesh contorts grotesquely. Rivulets of perspiration gather in the valley of her wrinkles.
The midwife, who is in her late sixties, glances quickly toward Reverend Dickinson. “It’s coming. Help me.”
“No!” The Reverend almost shouts his response.
The pregnant woman mumbles incoherently.
“I need light. Move away from the window.”
The Reverend Dickinson does, his glasses shining like mirrors in the heat. Through the small window, he can see the group of people gathered outside in the street. An elderly woman sits on a wooden stool. She is knitting a garment. It is pink and suited for a newborn child. The knitting needles click furiously in her hands.
The midwife works, her heavy face sweating profusely.
A bowl of bloody water is dipped into and out of.
“Please God,” whispers Reverend Dickinson, still hypnotised by the rhythm of the knitting needles. 
“Come on, Mary, come on...you have to push, Mary!  I can see the head!”
There is another scream and the tension shows in the Reverend’s shoulders. He wants to turn and look, but he cannot.
The midwife suddenly shouts. Her own breathing is heavy. “It’s out! It’s a...”
Reverend Dickinson spins on his heels. “It’s a what? Tell me.”
Reverend Dickinson makes eye contact with the midwife as he struggles not to look at the bloody mess that he knows the midwife must be holding.
The midwife holds the Reverend’s enquiring look momentarily, then she vomits.
Reverend Dickinson gulps in air and closes his eyes. He inhales and exhales and he tries to compose himself. He straightens his back, finding strength from somewhere.
“Wrap the...wrap it up,” he finally says with an edge of hostility.
Then he leaves the narrow room, the Bible clutched to his chest.
Out on the arid plain, a small swarm of locusts fly through the dry air, the sound of their wings like crackling flames. The swarm is flying directly toward the approaching vehicle whose pearly sheen mirrors the flaccid desert shrub.
On the rear of the truck, in a makeshift wire mesh cage, there is a collection of materials: canvas tents, a battered electric oven, spades and an assortment of crowbars. The carcasses of recently killed hares hang from a butcher’s hook close to the rear window.
The driver of the truck is Joe. He is in his early twenties. His skin is tanned. His attention is on the track ahead and the approaching swarm of locusts. The manner, in which Joe drives, his posture, hints that he is at peace out here in the new nothingness. He is a man in control of his personal journey. The pair of hands that grip the steering wheel are strong, their palms lined with callous.
Joe, to use an expression commonly used in the rapidly growing language of The Event, has come from ‘Out There.’
The swarm of locusts approach. The texture of the insects’ wings flare in the sun.
Joe studiously watches the swarm. There is no malice in his eyes, only a soft, intriguing smile on his lips. A song played by Deep Purple whispers from the reconstructed cassette player. Joe’s knuckles tighten on the steering wheel.
Abruptly, there is a sound in the truck’s cabin: it is a ‘hiss’ like air escaping from a large inner tube. The noise is repeated, followed by shuffling – akin to shaking out a duvet – and then a muted ‘squawk’.
Joe doesn't shift his focus from the approaching swarm. “Not now, Dog. Not now,” he whispers.
The swarm of locusts is directly in line with the front of the moving vehicle. A collision is imminent.
The hissing and the shuffling sound again intrude into the cabin.
“I said not now, Dog!” Joe’s voice cracks like a whip.
The swarm of locusts is about to meet a windscreen. Only a few feet separate them.
But the insects do not pulverise themselves into the glass. As if parted by a miraculous force the swarm divides and flutters harmlessly either side of the vehicle’s huge bonnet, noisily passing by the passenger windows.
Joe exhales and his hands relax on the steering wheel. He shifts slightly in the driver’s seat, gathering himself like a man who has exited a tunnel.  Then he turns and glares across to the passenger seat.
“Next time you do that, it’s the cage for you. Understand.”  
Sitting on a makeshift perch on the passenger seat, is a vulture. The bird views Joe with fixed, hooded eyes as it shuffles its feathers.
“I was sharing the road, Dog -- never interrupt a man when he is sharing the road and trying to avoid a collision. It’s important to avoid a collision, Dog. That’s how people get hurt.” Joe leans over, turns up the music. “Trust me. I know what I'm talking about. Ends up with wreckage everywhere and it’s hard to pick up the pieces - hard to even FIND the pieces after a collision.”
Dog shifts on his makeshift perch and returns to staring at the dirt track ahead.


I am Dog. We have already met, as I flew over the canyon, some twenty years ago. I am a friend, in spirit, with the man Joe as he seeks out a similar carcass as I, but not for the same reason, as Time will tell.

Saturday, 21 September 2013

Shopping in the wind.


...having recently endured a painful journey to the bowels of a cold, industrial, shopping mall, I thought it a wise thing to remind myself of how we once went shopping. So here's a FREE chapter from the novella, Two Feet, which roughly illustrates the days before malls, supermarkets and on-line shopping.

...about the size of it!



SHOPPING IN THE WIND

 But they did come and repossess the car. It was a red Mini-Imp, and the men that came were from a large, prosperous city across the border, and they didn't even stay for coffee. They just drove it off down the thin, corrugated and eroded dirt road that led down the hill onto the main road.
We stood and watched it go. “Shit,” is what my mother said.
We were left with a black bicycle, and on this bicycle I would pedal on the tarmac road to the local General Dealer every day. It was a long road bordered by pineapple fields, and the labourers working in those fields wore old, plastic fertilizer bags tied to their legs to avoid the sharpness of the pineapple leaves. They were like human scarecrows.
This was a good road. It had a few hills and a few potholes, but pedalling was easy especially on the way to the Store. I’d park the bike outside the Store where the hulking overhead diesel drum was positioned, and then walk across the dry patch of red earth where the chickens fed, and climb the few concrete steps onto the porch of the building. Here, a Cobbler and a tailor worked. The tailor had a milky eye and his left leg would furiously pump the plate on the floor to make the sewing machine rattle. He looked as though he was riding a bicycle to nowhere. The Cobbler, who wore a white shirt and a tie, had a tiny anvil and a mouthful of little black tacks that protruded from his lips like snakes’ tongues. Beside him were heaps of shoes that I thought would never cover a person’s feet or tread on a road again. But they did.
There is always a group of people gathered on the porch. A mother feeding her baby on her bosom, her head bent low over the infant to keep away the flies, an old man leaning on his cane peering from beneath the brim of his recently purchased hat, and another woman tying up her cash in a piece of cloth that she would thrust down her blouse for safe keeping.
The business of shopping was a muted, respected affair by customers in the Store. An aisle was approached with caution, almost in awe, bare feet scuffing on the concrete floor. Canned goods were held carefully in both hands, and the picture on the label was studied with the intensity of an art scholar. A bar of wrapped, Lux soap was sniffed and smiled at, and the bulky bag of Hullett’s refined, white sugar, stroked and prodded.
At the rear of the store, alongside gardening implements and paraffin lamps, shoes for men and women, made in Taiwan, beckoned. The shoes were never tried on for size but measured against the foot, the brightness of the shoe’s plastic alluring. The appearance of high heeled shoes would cause much stifled giggling.
The weighing of maize meal, sugar or flour by the Store’s owner was a solemn affair, the customer having ordered it, not by weight, but by what he or she could afford. As the grocer’s scale shifted on its fulcrum, so would the head of the customer, as if mentally trying to balance the brass contraption by telepathy. When the scale righted itself, the customer would do likewise with his or her head. Then the maize or flour would be poured into a paper bag and fastened with cello-tape. Whatever money the customer had was offered to the store owner as payment. It was accepted that the store owner would count out what was needed, and the balance be returned. A sticky sweet or two always concluded the transaction.
If a can of paraffin was listed on my mother’s shopping list, the road and the ride home was a challenge. Paraffin was an essential fuel. It kept the deep freeze and the fridge cold and the hurricane lamps alight when there was a power failure. The bag of meagre groceries I could hang on the handlebars, but a five-gallon metal container filled with paraffin was heavy and cumbersome, and the only place for it was between my legs on the hard saddle so I’d peddle off with knees and elbows wide like a frog in mid-flight and my backside almost touching the rear tyre.
The road I travelled was often shared with one or two eighteen-wheeler railway trucks.  Red, monstrous and loud, they travelled across the country transporting cattle, timber and sugar cane. Long before they came into sight the tarmac beneath the bicycle’s front wheel would vibrate, and as fate would have it, we’d meet on the downhill, so there was no time or place for stopping. Feet would start pumping wildly on the pedals and my backside would take to the air and the paraffin would begin sloshing left and right as the grocery bag began to scream and tear against the spokes of the front tyre.
To this day I don’t have a clue why I thought going faster would save me from the metallic beast that was coming up behind me. It is what boys do.
The driver of the monster would purposefully sound his foghorn as he neared. The sound of the tyres and the metal was ferocious as the vehicle passed, like a freight train coming out of a tunnel and crossing a steel bridge. It felt endless. It was a red blur out of the corner of your eye. The handlebars of the bicycle shuddered like a jack hammer in your hands. The tarmac was a dark blur, and the yellow grass on the verge becomes a spray of colour without shape.
Then the wind, the gale, the blizzard, the hurricane hit.
It came off the passing vehicle and slammed into you as you quickly tensed your flailing knees, and sphincter muscle, around the five-gallon paraffin can. You try to turn the bicycle’s juddering wheel into the wind with no success. You bend your head so low you are just short of chewing the metal of the handlebars.
Then you are in the ditch, and you are being watched by a group of labourers that work in a pineapple field dressed like human scarecrows. The bag of sugar you bought has exploded on the hot tarmac, and the bar of Lifebuoy soap has disintegrated against the fence-pole, and the bicycle has curled up some twenty feet away shaped like a modern sculpture.
But you are still holding the five-gallons of paraffin to your chest as if it were liquid gold.
Which it was.
 *****
Mabuza once told me that when travelling on any road and there is a fear of being struck from behind by an ill wind, get off the road.

*****

Monday, 9 September 2013

The Bone Traders - Free Chapter



Dog's Home Page

DYING TO MEET THE DEAD


The sound of the crowbar Joe uses to shift the rock echoes in the canyon. He is sweating and he’s removed his shirt. Nearby, a small fire burns over which roasts a dead rabbit. A can of pineapple and a water canteen show that a meal is due.
Dog preens himself as Joe digs the crowbar deeper beneath an obstinate rock.
“...not idle chatter. No, Dog. Looking and wanting something,” Joe mumbles to Dog. “Why come to me like a blue-fly to a mound of dung?  A man has a problem where he is and what he does, he makes a change, right?  Every road has a detour; go left, go right, go straight. That is his choice.” Exasperated, Joe sits down on a boulder, wags a finger at Dog. “Just don’t make it my problem. Especially that sort. Sky - who is called Sky? Isn't there enough sky? There’s nothing but negative oozing from him like an old car battery. Just like this place, Dog. Negative.”
Joe lifts his head. “Come on! Speak to me!” He suddenly shouts.
Dog ruffles his feathers as Joe’s words echo in the canyon. Then silence.
As if in abeyance, a sod of chalky earth topples near to where Joe was digging.
Joe hears the movement of the falling sod of earth, looks to it. He grins. “Apologies for the shouting, fine stuff,” he tells the soil.
Joe drops to his knees and begins digging with his bare hands. He soon reveals a glimpse of black material. It is wedged like a layer in a sandwich. He pulls at the material. It won’t budge so he gives it another jerk and applies more strength. He leans back on his heels.
The material suddenly gives and pops out the hole. Joe falls back on his backside. Attached to the remnants of the material are the well preserved, skeletal remains of a human hand.
 You can barely recognise the colour of this material, but you finally do. It is the colour of the clothing worn by the armed, mounted Border Patrol.
Dog reacts by flapping his huge wings, the downdraught causing a cloud of dust.
I am Dog. We both seek a carcass.
Joe collects himself and kneels alongside the remains. There’s an edge of excitement to him as he blows away the dust, scrapes away the congealed soil, revealing more of the fingers and the wrist bone. 
Joe rocks on his haunches and looks at Dog. “It’s time for my silence now Dog. But you listen to me now and listen well, my friend. If I don’t come back, you eat me true and clean. You hear me, Dog?  You finish me before the worms do. True and clean is what I ask for.”
Dog stares and offers a blink from hooded eyes.
He seeks his for a different reason. 
Joe takes a deep breath. “Good, Dog -- good. Yes, before the worms get me and before the Priest gets to me.”
From his trouser pocket, Joe pulls out a strip of leather -- it is plaited, like a fake dog’s bone -- and he puts it between his teeth, and chews down on it so it becomes an extension of his mouth. He gets comfortable on his haunches, settles his feet on the ground, ensuring his boots grip the earth’s crust. He’s planting himself.
Joe bites down on the strip of leather with force. 
 You are able, through the gap between the two boulders, to see the man who is hunched over what you mistakenly think is a pile of garbage, of plastic. Out of the corner of your eye you take notice of the size of the bird that sits as stoic as a statue.
You see the naked back of the man. His shoulders are broad and glisten with sweat. You inhale quickly as you see the muscles on the man’s back tense and ripple. You hold your breath as those same muscles remain taut. Your reaction is alien to you and you are confused by it.
You shift your position silently for a better view. Now you see that his hands are hovering over what you think is garbage, plastic. Every sinew in the man seems to be working. He rotates his body and his chest suddenly expands with a breath of air or is it shock? That thing between his teeth – he is gnawing on it, his jawbones set rigid.
You are trying to hold your own breath.
There is a tremble to his hovering fingers.
You exhale and ‘yelp’ simultaneously as the man is suddenly thrown backwards as if kicked by an invisible horse, a something. You clutch your mouth to stiffen any further noise as the man is slammed against the ground.

There he remains motionless. 
MY NAME IS DOG